Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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