her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
