i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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