I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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