Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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