Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
