May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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