i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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