I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
