Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
