In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
