I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
