ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
