I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize