Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He has the fingertips of a God
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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