Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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