So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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