It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
