I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
