Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I want a musical about memes.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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