So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
