What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
