You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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