I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
