Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
