I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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