weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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