it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
