so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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