id be glad to
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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