Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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