Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
