She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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