You really coming over, don't trick.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
