She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
