Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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