Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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