This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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