She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
