yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
