just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
