we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
