Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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