office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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