Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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