boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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