Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
