Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
