If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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