i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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