I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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