you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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