1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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