I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
