wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
