why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
