In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
