I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize