You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Green mimosas i think yes
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
